wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
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You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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