She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
