i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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