Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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