My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
