my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I did not marry a roomba.
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