hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
