dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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