I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
