You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
