I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
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Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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