where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
