Me too!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize