TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
someone owes me an orgasm
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize