so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
