I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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