I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize