if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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