It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
