i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am one with the molecules
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
