Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
