very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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