Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize