I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
