Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
