I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
