After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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