What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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