BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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