So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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