a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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