If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
