I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
