I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
