She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize