is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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