I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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