do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
