she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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