My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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