She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
