I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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