I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize