Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
