I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
