Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
