I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
FUCK WHALES
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
