My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
