"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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