Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize