I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Damn victory sex feels great
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
