He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
