i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
