dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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