just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
