In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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