Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
