My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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