I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
