and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
