Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There r osticjed everywhere
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
